The Strands of Love
by orangeclover
Summary: VFxHK Van and Hitomi embark on another war that will test their love through romance, jealousy, angst, and loss to restore Zaibach to rightful Queen. Can Van see through the haze to Hitomi?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne or any of its characters.

**The Strands of Love  
Prologue  
Produced by: Angelize**

I swished my feet against the cold water of the open sea feeling nothing but the numbness that I recalled feeling a week ago. The hard and cold rock that I sat on only made me chillier than before, and it somehow scared me. I don't like this feeling…I never did, it reminded me of the bitterness a corpse would feel, deathly still, no warmth would he or she ever enjoy again, especially if it had lost its soul among others in a fight to conquer. They could have had so much… but it was inevitable, war was inevitable. If I had never entered that mysterious world, would there be a difference in everybody's actions and choices? Had I… made a difference? I do not regret, as I know everybody else hadn't… especially… him?

"Van," I unconsciously whispered as my thoughts were suddenly inundated with images of him. His unruly ebony hair wisped in my mind, and his deep ruby eyes sparkled with determination, while remaining impassive at the same time.

I could only smile and look back at the events that had happened just a year and a half ago, and if some knew, they may call it an adventure, but I consider it more. It had touched me so deeply and left me with memories and scars that both pained me and made me laugh. I long for them so much, would something like this ever touch me again? For the first time in my life, I had truly fallen in love, and you know what? I fell in love with a rash, and impatient man, stubborn and arrogant, though, underneath it all, there was a gentle, and kind-hearted being that was willing to love, and to be loved, although experiences from his past kept him from doing just that.

Maybe I shouldn't have left that strange world after all. After six months back on Earth, I have soon learned to regret.

* * *

_**-Flashback-**_

"Hitomi, tell us what happened? You can't hide what happened, we want to help you. If there is anybody involved, we'll help you. We have a right to know" My mom didn't give up, and I agreed. They had a right to know. They were the ones that had suffered the most from my absence. I have never seen my mother so thin, and so worn out. Her eyes were puffy the day I returned, and the darkness around her eyes still remained.

I sighed in exasperation.

"Like I said before, there is nobody else involved" I answered annoyed.

"Well, SOMETHING happened. Where were you these past couple of months?" My dad shot in trying to control his anger. Both of them persisted constantly, but I had kept silent on purpose. I truly did not wish to inform them of my 'adventure'. I was deathly afraid that they would not believe me and I know my story was not what they had expected.

"I…was…" My eyes flitted to the sandy carpet and I shook my head at them, pieces of my short hair prickling my face lightly, but I ignored it. "You…won't understand" I mumbled quietly.

"If you don't tell us, we won't understand. Hitomi" My mom walked up to me and grabbed my limp hand and held it between her own cool palms, tears threatening to spill down cheeks that were already scarred with pain and remorse. "…Please, free yourself from this torture. We can help. I promise"

"Mom…" I whispered lightly, my voice tight.

"Honey…" My dad warmly whispered to me.

They had pushed me too much; I was tired of rejecting them again and again, and it pained me to see them so unhappy. I knew they would have to know one day, and it just depended on when. Besides, I know they would believe every word I say, wouldn't they?

Soon, we got seated on the couch with my parents and brother facing me as I fought with my will to begin my story. They all stared at me expectantly smiling awkwardly, meaning to assure me, but I couldn't help but feel nervous.

"I…that day…" And from there, my tale of lost love and war began, and soon, words cascaded out of my mouth in sadness and satisfaction from being kept for so long. I told them of how I met … him… through that mystifying pillar of light. Escaflowne. Millerna. Merle. Allen. The Draconians. My visions. Van…. I laughed and cried at the same time, but in the end, I ended up in tears, my words diluted. Memories of everybody brimmed in my mind, and his voice burned a mark in me yet again, but I snapped out of my temporary trance when my mom called my name out timidly.

"Hitomi…" My mom's eyes were dark when I finished and I tried to search for an answer in them with my own, but she cast them on her hands in her lap instead. "When will you tell us?"

I stared at her, my face contorted in confusion. "What?" I choked, my tears coming to a standstill.

"You don't have to make up stories like that… we only want to know what had happened to you" I watched as a single tear dropped from my mom's eyes to her cold hands. I could sense the tension in the rigid air.

I looked from my mom to my dad with frozen eyes. Didn't they believe me? Everything was as it was and I shook my head to show them that I didn't understand.

My dad was the first to answer my restrained question. "Hitomi, I want to let you know, we love you. It's our fault that we couldn't protect you, but… we just want to help you. Why do you have to do this to us?" He gestured to my mom and brother whose eyes were directed to the carpet beneath their feet.

"I…" I was speechless. I looked at my dad in vain. He looked at me with hard eyes; unbelieving eyes. I looked at my mom in desperation, but she shook her head and stared in her lap. Finally, I looked to my brother, and saw his wide eyes, the fear, and the pain as he hid behind my mother. My … family did not believe me. They… thought I was… lying. I swallowed hard but I could not escape the turmoil inside my stomach, and no matter how I tried, I could not run away from this feeling.

"Hitomi!" My mother brought her head up and cried out my name, her tears streaming down her face, I could feel the hurt radiating from her small racking frame. "When will you tell us? You have nothing to fear" She wept, her river of tears never-ending and it hurt me to see her weep like this.

"I…you don't… believe me.." I breathed. I found myself shaking and I blinked to find something warm and wet on my pale face. I pulled my hand to my face, and I felt my cool fingers brush the surface of my tears. I was… crying again, but this time, it was in desperation, in … vain. I blinked a couple more times, feeling the familiar warmth caress me. "Everything I say… is true" I whispered.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I ran awkwardly up to my room feeling the waves of nausea wash over me. I thought… they could understand…

_**-End of Flashback-**_

* * *

The light breeze filtered through my hair as if feeling my pain from my memories, but still, it could not relieve the experience. My parents believed I lied, and if not, they believed that I had mental problems and a week after my 'story', they had appointed me to see a psychiatrist daily, but still, I refused to go against what I had said. Then again, how could I? I could not deny people I've met, places I've been to, it seemed… wrong. 

After strong resistance against all 'help' given to me, my parents had finally believed me to be insane. They enrolled, more like forced me into a hospital reserved for the mentally ill, of course, I resisted, but I could not turn back on the road I brought myself to. Every single day I spent in there was bland, and horrifying. When I walked through the halls, screams, and yells of resistance and fear irrupted all around me, and I became afraid… for my own sanity. The only thing keeping me sane was my friends, Yukari and Amano, who came to see me regularly, bringing personal items of mine with them like journals, pens, and my cd player. They believed me, because they had seen me float up with Van into the clear night sky on EscaFlowne on that particular night, although they tried to tell my parents that they were witnesses to this, it was useless.

I stayed at that horrid place for about six months before I told myself to move on with my life, and the only way to do that was to… deny it all…

* * *

_**-Flashback-**_

"Everything I saw before was only something I've seen in my dreams, it just… felt so real, that I mistook it as something real" I stated timidly to my visiting parents.

**_-End of Flashback-_**

* * *

…and to make things up. 

**_-Flashback-_**

"The reason for my absence was… I was taken by kidnappers" I looked up with my urgent emerald eyes. I needed to get OUT of here.

"Where did they take you?" The doctor's monotone voice echoed across the empty white walls of the small room.

I pursed my lips before I began, I didn't want to miss a single detail. "I don't know, I was blindfolded the whole time"

"So… you didn't know where you were"

"No" I answered tersely. Why wasn't he buying it? He seemed to be considering whether to believe my story to be real, or something conjured up in the mind of a mental patient, but still, I remained calm despite the turmoil I felt in my stomach. I felt like I needed to throw up.

"So, did you notice anything about your surroundings?"

"The place I was kept in smelled bad, like sweat, and sometimes, I could hear mice running around" My fingers entwined together on top of the table, showing a sense of

"How did you know it was rats?" The doctor eyed me with suspicion in his beady eyes.

"I didn't know, I just assumed" My doctor just stared at me some more, and I suddenly felt fear. What if he didn't believe me? Does that mean I'm stuck here forever? I answered carefully. "I mean, what else could make a sound so gentle?"

"Alright, do you know why they kidnapped you?"

"…I'm not sure, I tried to ask them once, but they didn't tell me." I stared down at my folded hands.

"Did they hurt you in any way?"

"No" I replied strongly as memories of Van floated into my mind once out of fifty times a day, and my answer reflected my time there. "They… gave me food, and everything"

A sigh came from the doctor as he turned off the tape recorder and pulled out the tape. "I'll give this to the police, and we'll try to find these people."

After hearing this statement, I was overjoyed and filled with relief, and also a tint of guilt, but I kept my face solemn and unmoving as I muttered a "Thank you," and I was leaded out of the room. He believed me, I could leave and resume to my normal life again, but inside, I knew my life would never be the same again.

_**-End of Flashback-**_

* * *

Six months. I shivered slightly at the depressing thought of my past, what if… I had stayed with Van? I wouldn't be going through this… would I?

* * *

**A/N:** That was pretty long for a prologue for me, but yea, wasn't it sort of boring? Bear with me… for now, or until chapter one starts? Feedback and any suggestions will be greatly appreciated, especially critical ones that can help me improve my writing and give me new ideas to work with, haha. Please R R ! 


	2. Strand of Reminiscence

Disclaimer: "Escaflowne is mine!" I screamed as I waved the Bandai copyrighted DVD's in the air.

**The Strands of Love  
****Part One  
****Produced by: Strawberryz**

I shut my eyes tightly feeling the strain, then reopened them feeling much more relaxed as I sighed in tranquility. I slammed the thick book 'Mythical Spirits and Legends' shut in my lap feeling exhausted and weak as I placed it on the table, I stood up quietly remaining quiet in the presence of other readers as I stepped soundlessly out of the reading area. I looked out of the window noting that the sky seemed dark and unpleasant…was it raining? I pinched my face in disgust hearing the hard pitter-patter of the rain drumming relentlessly against the thick glass windows. I shuffled more quickly down the never-ending shelves of books convinced that the library smelled like medicine from the new pages in books and magazines.

The library had always been a wonderful place to be, the books were tempting and untold stories were always just an arms length away, but ever since I hit high school, I had no time to come here and just relax. Maybe the library had become appealing ever since the winter vacation started freeing up lots of time … and setting my impatience at full. It was definitely boring.

"ACK!" My neutral thoughts had consumed me and I realized too late a split second before my body crumbled down onto the red speckled carpet, pain shooting up my right wrist to my elbow. I groaned at the unexpected impact, a little annoyed and glanced up to face the one that brought me down.

My heart skipped a beat.

I was staring into messy ebony hair ruffled playfully likely from the new wind and rain outside, and my anger and pain just plainly disappeared into thin air. My attacker had his head bowed down in apology, and I felt eager to find his face beyond the strangely tan complexion, especially at this time of year. My hurt hand longed to reach out and run it through the untidy black clutter but I held back. Could this really be … him? Has he come back for me? Questions flew into my head and I could only guess, my heart had suddenly started to beat faster and faster, and I felt unable to breathe through my tension and excitement. Those few seconds felt like an eternity of hours and it hit me as several years, it made me desperate to know. Could it be?

"Ah… miss? Are you alright?" I gasped at the unexpected sound breaking me from my strange trance of tense nervousness. I suddenly met with shining yellow eyes filled with energy and happiness… they were unfamiliar, but they felt warm. His voice was light and cheerful with a hint of humour, something 'he' never held, and instead, was usually rude, rough, and impassive.

"Y –yes … thank you" I smiled awkwardly, my hands shaking as the stranger helped me up, I felt so thrown off, so cheated … because of how I felt when I thought, for a change, my wish might come true, but then again, nothing I wished and respected came to me. My parents were who I respected most, but they hurt me so deeply, I don't know if I can place that much trust in them ever again, knowing this hurt me intensely, but I had learned to accept it. That was the past, I have tried to live again like I've always had, with an open-minded and happy attitude, but it was impossible.

"Are you sure you're alright? You look faint…" the young yellow eyed man asked in concern, and I tried to regain my composure by smiling brightly then thanked the golden-eyed guy off. My breath shook when I sighed feeling the full impact of disappointment. I tried to remember what I had been doing before I fell, and found myself as confused as ever. I rubbed my hurt wrist numbing it temporarily from its pain and realized that the pain had returned. I sighed lightly and my thoughts sprung up to my warm cinnamon-smelling kitchen and my mother's sugar cookies and chicken teriyaki and almost ran out of the automatic sliding glass doors of the central library.

I shivered immensely once I entered the cold realm of winter with its freezing bursts of unexpected rain and gray skies. This afternoon was no exception, the light rain drizzled down in torrents releasing the cold energy it held with each droplet of icy water. My hands were suddenly cold and I reached into the grey pockets of my trench coat to find those damned gloves I had forgotten to put on before I came outside. My hand was shaking slightly as I fumbled with the black leather gloves my mother gave me for Christmas. My fingers were stiff but I smiled at my success. I reached up and clenched the neck of my coat tighter against me cutting off available space for the harsh wind to reach me there.

Sighing, I looked up at the dull sky wondering when this weather will end; we were somewhat alike I guess, my mood matched the sky today. The rain made me jumpy, anticipating for something that might happen that particular day, and ever since the rain came, I had been quite aware of … something. Will I know it when it comes? I have been condemned to my little dark box of sadness all these years, but I trust that there will be a day where the sun would emerge from this tiny world of mine, just as spring touched even the smallest of plants and animals.

I lifted my head and closed my eyes imagining the beautiful sunshine fan across my face, knowing that the first sunny day of spring would be when I could finally get over everything that happened a year and a half ago, when I felt a ticklish tender feeling on the very tip of my nose. My eyes shot open and found myself staring into a very familiar object.

A feather.

I didn't know when my heart started drumming like crazy, but I was too deaf to hear it anyways, I only felt it beat relentlessly in my chest, my breath shortened in a mere two seconds. I gasped and flinched away from it, but before I could collect myself, it flew off into the wind flailing against the different currents.

Him.

His feather.

My eyes widened at my new understanding and I ran forward and watched it shift to the left my feet following right behind it. The strong wind was opposing me as I chased it but I ignored it and watched my precious white feather float past me, but soon, it got whisked up high into the air where I cannot reach it. I stopped, panting for air and crying not only in vain, but also for my pain, my sorrow… my disappointments.

I felt so weak, so useless that very moment. Someone once told me that our wishes are fulfilled by our very hands, inspired by those very dreams and wishes, not by anybody else … so why couldn't I fulfill my only wish? My eyes stung with hot tears, and I let it stream down my face, a sign of my weakness. I had promised to never cry again, no one may see this flaw in me, but why? Why now? I tried to forget him as much as I wanted to see him again, why can't I go and find him?

Because I don't have that strength … but I used to.

With that final thought, darkness tumbled into my path and I fell into the oblivious obscurity that was my past.

* * *

I sat up, breathing heavily as a horrifying sensation ran down my spine, my hands clutching an unfamiliar white sheet quite tightly. I had another nightmare didn't I? This dream had haunted me every night, but every time I awoke I had no memory of what the dream was about, or who was in it, although when I awoke, I was always soaking in sweat with a horrible premonition hanging over me. These dreams had started a year ago, I might have been starting to go insane from my time in the asylum, but whatever it was, these dreams haunt me endlessly, depriving me of my sleep every day of my life.

I suddenly coughed, my eyes trying to adjust to the bright white lights all around me as the horrible premonition disappeared. I held a hand up to my forehead finding it sweaty and hot as my blurred vision came into clarity.

Where was I? I glanced around the unfamiliar room and found myself in a white-sheeted bed with unfamiliar utensils hanging above and all around me. They all seemed so familiar, but in my current state, I couldn't tell. I blinked a couple times as I observed the small bleached white room and found a couple of old chairs propped against the wall with what seemed like my clothes upon it. Looking down, I found myself wearing a loose white shirt two sizes bigger than what I usually wore and realization came to me quite slowly. I turned to the side to find a small table with a tempting glass of clear water on it. I licked my dry lips in distaste and attempted to grab it when I felt a sudden rush of blood go through my head and I crumpled onto the small bed groaning in pain.

"Hitomi!" A familiar voice reverberated around the uncomfortable room like the ring of a bell, hitting solid glass walls.

"Mom…? Is that … y-you?" I moaned despite the pain throbbing endlessly against my head and I turned, my lips curled in pain, my hands fisting a handful of clean sheets.

"Are you alright! I'll call in the doctor!"

"N-no, its okay" I gasped silently, the pain receding little by little from each new breath I took. Soon, most of it vanished leaving me a bit light-headed and faint and I became curious as of why I was here.

My mother, sensing my curiosity cleared her voice before she started, her light blue eyes quivering in my state.

"You're at the hospital dear, it seems that you've fainted in front of the library, thankfully, someone found you and called the ambulance"

"Oh…" I muttered feeling a little colour light up my cheeks. "Did the doctor say anything?"

My mother sighed heavily and gave me a weary look. "He said you fainted because you had a lack of nutrients in your body"

With that, I turned away and sighed lightly my eyes half open. They must probably think I'm on a diet or something, but I didn't care, all that I cared about at this moment was returning home and sleeping like the dead for a week.

"Hitomi, have you not been eating?" This sudden noise broke into my thoughts as I looked around blankly until the meaning of her words worked their way into my slow brain.

"I have been, I just don't have my appetite these last couple of days. When can I leave?" I answered simply.

My mother gave me another strained look as if she knew what I was going through and I stared at the wall to my right. How could she know what I was going through? She was the one that had brought me that kind of pain along with my father. She ignored my last remark and continued to press into the 'inner me'.

"Have those dreams come to haunt you again? The ones where you had been … kidnapped…?"

A smirked appeared on my face as I turned my head slowly to stare at her calmly noting her surprised expression. My mother was sitting at the corner of my bed as if she were afraid to come any closer, her hands tightly folded in her lap and bag slung across her slender shoulder. I didn't have to come any closer for me to know that her eyes were quivering.

"What dreams? I thought the people at the institute had already erased my memory?" I taunted intentionally, the meaning in my dull emerald orbs clear as the blue of the sky.

It was interesting to watch the transition as red replaced my mother's pale face and tears filled her teardrop coloured eyes as she stared at me, wide eyed, but I sighed as a flicker of guilt inundated me and I muttered an apology. Again, I gave in to my mother's weakness. That was my weakness. Maybe my weakness originated from her – I had no objections, everyone had to have a weakness of some sort.

"So, when can I leave?" I asked completely entertained by her reactions as my sudden question switched the whole mood of the moment. Looking relieved, she sat up straighter.

"Right now if you want"

"Alright"

I tugged the limp bleached blanket away from me in disgust; I only had to imagine how many individuals had stained it with their blood recently – or anything else for that matter. I swung my slender legs over the edge of the bed and toddled across the icy floor in my bare feet to my clothes over at the chair. Turning to my mother expectantly, I gave her a warm smile as her eyes danced with amusement.

"Alright, alright, I'll get out, I'll be outside" She waved as she gently closed the door behind her.

I just sighed in relief after she left, as I collapsed onto one of the chairs. There were more important things to think about, like … how could I have fainted? Suddenly, my mind whirled back to that split second before I swirled out of consciousness…

_I heard a growl behind me as I tensed up visibly before I turned around, my eyes widening in fear as I stared at -_

I suddenly gasped after this small recollection and flinched slightly as I returned to hard reality. Why was I so scared? What did I see, and why can't I remember it? I rubbed my temples with both my hands trying to cool myself down.

Knock Knock.

"Hitomi, are you done?" My mothers voice broke into my chain of thoughts as I gathered my inner voices and rushed to dress, finishing in a mere five seconds. I flung open the door to see the bewildered look on my mom's face as a breathless me appeared from the opening.

"Done" I gasped as I managed to smile before I walked briskly out of the hospital to the parking lot to find the familiar cold sleet upon my pale skin again. I looked disapprovingly out at the dark gray clouds hanging quite low in the sky and found our forest green Honda waiting for us … but beyond that, was a HUGE stretch of open parking lot where the freezing droplets pattered impatiently on the cement.

"I have an umbrella" My mother offered as she reached into her bag to pull out a foldable green polka dot umbrella and handed it to me. Soon we were through the yucky rain, my pants a bit soaked at the feet, but the car offered much warmth as we drove home straining to see through the fogginess the water created.

We slipped into the house unnoticed and I found my room the most comfortable as I collapsed onto it, free of any thoughts or feelings, but hunger soon made its presence recognized and I jumped at the yell of dinner downstairs.

After dinner, I sat in my room surrounded by the warmth of the heater, my legs curled up on the bed as I watched the branches sway in the harsh wind of winter. Spring should be just around the corner, the equivalent of two months from now, but there was still a long wait ahead, and the weather didn't seem to be letting up. There has not been one day in this frosty season this year where the sun actually shone.

There was not much to hope for as the weather tomorrow will probably be as rainy and cloudy as ever, and sleep seemed to be the only valid thing to do during this dreary holiday. What will I find in tomorrow? I wondered as I climbed into bed letting the warm feeling of my thick covers and the portable heater drown me into a deep sleep.

* * *

I shifted lightly in my bed from a bright light, an itchiness aroused on a little spot on my cheek. I told my hand to move and scratch it, a reaction I had embedded in my brain from years of itchy experience, but I felt strangely tired. Was this a dream? My eyes slowly opened to meet a bright light and a ceiling I did not recognize, and my hands clenched strange textured sheets, ones different from the ones I had placed on myself the night before. I would have been alarmed by now, but I was too sleepy to care. It was definitely weird, but after several moments, my impatience to return to reality overruled. I did not intend to be kept still and unmovable by a mere dream fragment any longer. This must be another one of my nightmares I suppose? It must be fun watching my nerves struggle from waking up in some place weird, like my trip to Gaea, opening my eyes to a completely unfamiliar world each morning, and it was not fun, but I had soon began to get used to it.

The itch stopped bothering me and I wondered if I had scratched it outside my dream. I scrunched my closed eyes tighter trying to regain consciousness but each time I opened them, they were placed on that same unfamiliar coloured ceiling, the room getting brighter every time I opened them and I began to doubt it was a dream at all. Slowly, I pulled myself up the bed feeling a foreign tiredness I had never felt before. My joints felt sore as if it had healed from a very cold condition, like the time my elbow grazed upon dry ice by accident at the museum when I was younger, leaving it cold, sore, and red for about a week.

The brightness of the room hurt my tender morning eyes still and I turned to the source of it, my gaze still improving and it soon revealed a medium sized window where the clear light shone through. A moldy brown curtain covered part of it and I shifted my head to see what it was hiding. The white light covered my face as I gasped lightly, the current scenario caught me breathlessly.

It was snowing.

* * *

Well, it has been a long time since I have updated this … and I left a cliffhanger for you guys, but I think you can all guess! Hmm … any ideas are greatly appreciated! Please read and review? --' 


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